I came here to write and I think this may be the last, if not just one of the last posts that will appear here. My renewal is supposed to hit in December, but I don’t think I’ll pay to keep my url. I’m not writing enough to justify the cost.
And…I’m tired.
This first 6 weeks of school has worn me down in ways I tried not to think about ahead of time. I work all week, get off early some days so that I can run from one place to another and try to support my kids in everything they do. And my poor boys…they don’t even have an activity right now and I feel guilty about it. But there’s not time, even if they’d want to do something!
It’s difficult to describe and talk about without coming off as a complaint. There’s nothing I’d rather do than see all the things my kids do. I want to meet with their teachers and coaches and find out how I can support them. I want to take Sarah to every possible university she’d consider attending. I want to watch every volleyball game, tennis match, choir performance, etc.
The mom-guilt is strong right now because even though I am making it to so much, I am still missing so much. Sarah is ready to move on from high school, yet has to endure these last months until graduation. I’ve missed some volleyball, but not too much. But that’s not bringing her much joy right now either. Dani is getting established in high school: she’s played tennis this fall and she earned a spot in the fall musical (“In the Heights”), she’s experiencing new and different education philosophies at her school and adjusting and she’s still active in her faith journey and figuring that stuff out, too. Helen’s playing volleyball and I’ve only made it to one of her matches so far. She’s doing well with organization and staying up on her studies and all reports point to excellent behavior, too. Dominic has signed up for choir at his school (only offered to 4th and 5th graders) and (finally!) his teacher returned from paternity leave so he’s enjoying every day at school. Vincent seems to be enjoying school, too, which makes me so happy because he literally seemed to hate it before. He’s going to do the “Fit Team” in October which will give him something “extra” to do and fit in with Dominic’s choir rehearsal schedule, too. But this is just a tip-of-the-iceberg of the things we’re doing and there are times I feel so overwhelmed.
So…anyway, I wanted to post something here with enough time to let anyone who would concern themselves with my blog know that it won’t be here starting sometime the beginning of December. I think it will be okay: I still have facebook and instagram to keep family/friends updated on our doings.
It won’t make me any less tired not to keep up a blog, but it will lessen my anxiety about “I haven’t written in forever, I should probably do that…” 🙂
Endless Strength 
I’m sorry you’ll be retiring your blog. you have a lovely way of writing on family and faith. Given you have children in a range of ages makes your blog interesting to me (my kids go from pre- school to grad school) . However, I know how drained one can get barely doing the necessities. Take care of yourself , and be kind! Your kids might not mind what bothers you . Your sons are happy and active in school – the girls have plenty of activities and are finding their way – concentrate on the essentials and things will get better.
And speaking as someone who works at a college don’t worry about visiting all the schools. Most campuses have similar fixtures, programs, and features. Your daughter is bright and hard working – she will make her college experience great because she’ll choose to take advantage of the opportunities offered. If she’s not sure of what type or size of school she wants, pick a few local schools of assorted types and take a day to visit a few. If she can drive, she can even do it herself on a day off from high school even if you have to work. That will give her a feel for what she might like. Then she should do some virtual tours of schools she’s interested in. Save the big visits for when she’s got it down to a few choices. SO many kids apply to too many schools and waste a lot of time and effort on schools they don’t really want to attend.
Best wishes for a better fall!
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